i think too much, yea?

I was trying to do IS, but i really can't think of a topic. Perhaps im too occupied. I was unpacking some of the things from my boxes, n its been a month since i moved.. well, i realised tt i seriously have too many clothes n too many shoes.. so, i have made up my mind not to invest in apparel anymore, at least not until im prepared to take care of more stuff. It does take up a lot of time to clean n maintain those stuff. Haiz, wasting my time.. now i know why my head is empty=(Anyway, elaine misses me!! n I miss elaine too!! she said this is a pretty photo.. haha, i never know i can look so sweet=) i love tt seal, from cin cin's house..
I miss huzi too, yesterday was the last time im seeing her in the next 4 mths. Shuyao went back, so im lonely again. argh!! While packing, i saw those pics and notes which reminded me of my childhood frens, then n now, its those unforgettable memories. I wonder what and how are they doing now. Time is so insignificant that it crawls pass without me knowing, and its normally too late when i realise its gone.
Was talking to qq just now. He had a accident!! Good tt he's alright, or else i... but his poor car had to be towed away. Guess tt he's pretty pissed n sad now. Den it reminded me of a book say that your car reflects yourself. There was this man who felt that his life was rather stranded, so guess wat, his type was flat. Another person who felt so aimless and had no vision in life, as expected, his front window was hit by a tree branch. hmm, so, wat does this say abt qq?? haix, perhaps i think too much. I got to learn driving this yr!!
I hate mozzie!! noisy, full of germs, itchy and irritating!!
oh, i found the present i bought for myself on Valentines' day. Its a lickable body moisture. haha.. comes with chocolate mint flavour. actually i dont like chocolate. well, well...
haiz, i saw a lizard... it was still quite small a few days ago, but now..
Prelim... i didnt take it seriously!! guilty.. k, study hard ba.. tts e onli thing i can do..
My birthday in 1 months time!! im suppose to book a chalet on the weekend before my birthday, but both sat n sun, i got to go to sch for IS revision lecture from 10 to 5!! hmm, ok lor, i love IS anyway.. so on my birthday, we gonna haf MATHS1 REVISION lecture!!! n its 10 to 5!!! wat the!! u know i dont really enjoy maths!! n its on my birthday!! haha.. well done!! n tt week, the onli day i got to go sch is on my birthday!! wah=) fantastic!!

ReProgramming!!

Sally is hurt! very painful!! had a blue-black on my leg! haiz. Still i feel hurt... MEN r idiots!@%#&^*! hmph! got to reprogram my brain and my thoughts.. let my wound heal soon.. so that i can rightfully focus on my exams!!

It didn't feel like new year, at all. probably bcos i couldnt be bothered with wats going on except me, myself n I.. or probably bcos daddy is not in spore. So, thats y im so lazy!!
Went to visit uncle tom today!! i had a great time playing with his kids. we stacked up blocks of wood. At first when the 5 yr old boy dragged me to play, i was still feeling a bit reluctant.. stacking woods didnt appeal to me. (boring)... still, i agreed to compromise=)
Actually, simple activities r the best! its those child's play which brings me back to who i really am.
These are pictures from my play!! i really miss performing! Hope i do get the chance to do a show again. Well, enjoying my carefree life rite now=)

I love this super sexy pic of mine!!

Yeah!! New year is round the corner, its gonna be a fantastic year ahead, im sure it will! Again, as usual, so many things happened. My life is just a roller-coaster ride, full of up and downs, sometimes even surprises and excitements!! Anyway, I just shifted house. A place where i can finally feel a bit more at home, more freedom and more sense of belonging. haha.. i guess now im really enjoying my life!Went to sentosa with Wenxiu and Elaine on sat!! Its another Echidna's outing... the weather was great for not wanting a tan and yet the gentle breeze sooth every tired muscle on me! Sally, as usual the very talkative echidna, was accounting her highly dramatic experiences lately.. haha.. its amazing how the 3 very different personalities can come toget to be such close and supportive friends=) perhaps its fate!! And wenxiu n me have the same birthday!! hmm, lets see, we will go wala wala again on our birthdays this year! its becoming more of a habit isn't it?? Anyway, this is such a nice n sexy pic!!Sally didnt buy any new year clothes this year. Perhaps i didnt feel the need to. moreover, i just moved house, i think i have too much stuff!! too much clothes alr, i muz stop investing in clothes! its heavy!! i moved house mostly by myself and alan.. so now, lots of muscles! arghhhhh... and i fixed my bed by myself too.. ugly muscle=(
last tues, i went to MGM in cheong sum!! hmm, i was super AA (attract attention) la.. i was late, cos i seriously couldnt get a bus, it was so super packed.. so when i arrived, wenxiu's event was doing the presentation.. guess wat? haha.. no 1 was listening to the presentation!! i could literally see and could feel the stares directing at me!! arghhh, so pai sei.. but after sometime, i got used to it alr.. haha=) my editorial department won the lantern making competition!! yeah!! i love tt camera lantern.. haha.. good job ppl=)
Ok!! after settling down after this new yr season, i muz study hard!! i need to get my distinction!! n yes, i got to complete my newsletter as well!! yeah, looks like i've got a plan for myself.. oh, n also, i muz move on!! no more qq.. haha..
its been a month after my play!! i suddenly miss all the ppl in my play, esp my director, glarie.. haven been seeing him for a month.. haha.. hmm, he is like so busy n im still holding onto his gift, lucky its not broken in e process of moving, or else, i will b dead.. will b having FPA meetin on e 11th, so yeah, looking forward to see every1!!

I love myself=)

Under immerse pressure these few days. i seriously felt like dying! Anyway, its over, i solved it! I have to keep on reminding myself that i love myself and i did nothing wrong. haha.
Well, i know dad loves me, but he doesnt accept me... He doesnt accept who i am, wat i wan to be, and thats y i dont feel the love. It is true that when i dont love myself, you dont love others. so, i have to love myslf!

OMG!! i lost my phone!

13 Jan, a Sunday... i would have believed it if it was a Friday. I woke up feeling shitty and (argh) extreme headache. I had a damn bad hangover - e consequence of excessive drinking e nite b4. i would gladly accept all these tortures if this is e only thing that i have to be responsible for. But... more to come! n now when i think of it, its damn funny! haha..
I still remember clearly the weird, shocked look on my face this morning. I woke up ard 9, e lights still on, curtain, windows left open. den next, i found nth on me. shit! how could i jus sleep like tt? the neighbors opposite blocks.. hmm.. oh no!! haiz.. actually i dont really care.. well, e next qn is where r my clothes? not anywhere in sight! where is my phone? y is my bag empty? where did i throw my clothes? y am i naked? to my sudden realization, i know im in trouble!! i made a mistake again!! What is happening to me?!! I know i cant let dad know abt this. if not, he would b disappointed, or maybe i just shouldn't have gone. so, i quickly wrap up myself with a towel and rush outside. den i realise tt i cant even walk properly. not a good sign! i cant remember anything and cant recall wat exactly happened! and im stinky!
I kinda of figured out tt i left my phone outside e house last nite.. when i was looking for my key. so perhaps some things do fall out, and "smartly" enough, i didnt pick them up. Wat the hell!! but i did bring in my heels, n even brought in my fren's slipper.. damn, wat e hell!! n tts y when i open e front door, i was half rite! theres rubberband, tissus papers, things from my bag, n tt explains y my bag was empty. so, still tt same qn! phone! oh no, its not there.. so it muz haf been..
so this is how i lost my phone! the price to pay for being dead drunk! i dunno anything! but i know i left zouk in a hurry, cos was really uncomfortable. den i puke in e cab! haiz.. tts all i remember.
den i manage to find my clothes. its in e toilet.. argh!! which means i left everything there and walk back to e room. OMG!! this is unbelievable! and actually i lost my belt too.. i still dunno where is it. dun tell me that i left it outside e house as well, which also means tt i started to undress myself when im still outside. haiz.. now tt i learnt my lesson! not gg to drink tt much from now on.
Actually sally dun club, perhaps the real reason behind it is tt i really wan to relax n let go of myself totally! i know im jus escaping reality... escaping those problems, dont wan to do anything about it, not having to answer to any1, n mostly importantly, enjoy a bit of fun! i guess it does help to a certain extent, when im not tt aware of myself, im happy, crazy and hilarious. Im jus stressed and overloaded with stuff! But when i wake up, there's more prob.. I cant run away anymore!! excessive drinking wont help! anyway, how much did i drink? 1 beer, 2 cups, but i think it muz b tt 4 consecutive martell shots tt send me dead... haiz. well, I'm gonna let sally fall, fall as low as possible this time, den i will gather back my courage, energy and ambition.. i will climb up again. I want my new life!
k, stop thinking abt ur beloved k530i, no matter how much u love it, its past tense now.. time to move on!!! this also applies to ppl as well, move on... 10/10 ppl told me its not worth it.. which i agree=)

im not everything you want me to BE!

Once again, im lost... in searching for my new life... I found it, but i cant live the way i wanted. theres lots of constraints in life. those directly affecting your mind, soul and body are most harmful and yet important to you. Most say, i have been living a life respecting my dad. this is true! everything i do, dad is the motivation behind it. i know exactly what kind of person he wants me to be. tall, slim, beautiful, fashionable, polite, smart, fast, dominating, diplomatic, dynamic, confident, a person with great personality and able to handle great things.. basically an other workaholic, just like him. Am i even any where near there? i doubt so! i know im not that capable, im not tt smart, im not that ambitious as what i used to be. But i had been constantly trying to live up to his expectations. but not knowing the right way to what he expects, i became pretentious. haha. pretending to be that some1 who i am not. to be that person that Im not willing to become. and only till now, that i realised that it is not what i want!!
I miss my play! Probably i miss the chance of getting to be another person! i miss the attention on stage and of course i miss what i really enjoy doing! n i do miss the ppl to a great extent, though im ice queen, but there's a flame in me. jus tt i refuse to show it. haha. This is wat i wan to do. n this is where i belong... Haf u ever seen me getting so crazy before?